Happy Australia Day!

43 things that show that you are a true Aussie?

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".
35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".
36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".
43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

You think you're Australian now?

Sweet Talker

For those of you who are good in sweet talking, you may have something better than these...
For those who can't sweet talk your (potential) girls... u may want to consider these:

Man: Are you an Interior Designer?
Woman: No. Why?
Man: When I saw you enter, the room became beautiful.

Man: Are you religious?
Woman: Yes, why you're asking??
Man: Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Man: How is your fever?
Woman: What fever?
Man: Oh.. you just look so hot to me...

Man: Can I get a picture of you to prove to my friends that angels do really exist.

Man: Wow! How did you do that???!!!
Woman: Do what?
Man: Look so good...

Man: Does it hurt?
Woman: What?
Man: Falling from heaven..

Man: Aren't you tired?
Woman: Tired of what?
Man: Running around in my mind..

Internet Joke

Have you read this before? A friend of mine sent this :-)

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: November 30, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

First exam... Down!

Just did my first exam... ehmm how was it? It was quite difficult. Even though the question itself is relatively OK but what made it difficult was the length of the question... Man, we were required to derive a function in 1 full page just for 4 marks out of 60 -___-"

Anyway, time to move onto the next one...

I just read a joke today, not sure if it was that funny but I laughed when I read it...

Child: "Mom, can I ask for few bucks coz I want to give it to the old lady that I just passed"
Mother: (thinking that she has a good child who thinks about the poor and the elders) "OK, here is 10 bucks for you. How old is she? Can't she still do a proper job?"
Child: "Sure, she's selling candies"
Mother: "errr -____-!!"

Is it funny? It's quite funny rite :P

Hmm... where is this hey?

HAHAHAHAHA..LMAO!!!

One funny ads

I know I should study now so dun say "hey u said u're too busy this week but why u checked out some videos instead of studying?"
well, people need some rest after all :P

check this out...

DETERMINE YOUR IQ

Just got this IQ test from a friend... why dont u try it too??
Think hard...dun give up... :P

Imagine you are in Hwange. You have been tied hanging on a tree with

a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope,
and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.

Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one
around to help you. The only possible way is to somehow convince the
lion to BLOW the candle out. How do you do that?

Check the answer in the comment...

HAHA!

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t bother me too much… my farts never smell, and they’re always quiet. But I’ve been doing it very often.”

The doctor asks her to explain more, and the old lady says, “In fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You probably didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and they’re silent.”

The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week. “The next week the lady comes back.

“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent…stink terribly.”

The doctor says, “Good!!! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

Nice joke...

Hahaha... I found this joke from my friend's blog...nice one :P

Why British think 80% of Malaysians coming to UK to study Law?

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?

Visitor: I'm here to study law,sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong: Study lorr...